Still have no place to live. Still waiting for Mike to call me back. Still wondering how the hell I am gonna make it through this year. I know I need to stop this but I wrote a long ranting email to Jesse about what's been going on and told him I was wrong to tell him to give up on Jacque. Honestly, him and I are in the same situation. I haven't given up on Mike, I know I need to, but I refuse to. What place is it of mine to tell someone to do the exact opposite of what I am doing? I'm so hypocritical sometimes. Lately, I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep for 100 years. Maybe that will wash some of the real world away.